Divorce

Sadly, I am a child of divorce. My parents divorced in 1989(my mother initiated the divorce) when I was 13 years old. They had been married for 16 years.

The breakup of our nuclear family had a devastating effect on me. To be honest, I must admit that now even 35 years later, the sting from the divorce is still raw in my psyche. I never “got over it” or “grew out of it” to name two of the most unhelpful common platitudes I’ve heard.

Most pastors are not equipped to help heal victims of divorce. Especially not when they have underlying issues like severe mental illness in my case.

I cried myself to bed many nights. My whole world had collapsed into a heap. I felt severe anxiety and psychological torment. The pain was so intense.

I prayed to God to restore my family. But it was not to be.

My two sisters also suffered from the divorce, though not as badly as I have.

Jesus says a married couple may divorce if one of them commits adultery. Even in this case, everything must be tried to save the marriage before they divorce.

Paul says a couple may divorce if one of them is a nonbeliever.

That’s the only 2 biblical cases where divorce is permitted. It should be noted that according to Christ those who have divorced on biblical grounds are still not free to remarry until their spouse dies. If they remarry while their spouse is still alive and have sex they are guilty of adultery.

Married folks: please do not divorce! Do everything you can to heal the marriage bond. Marriage is serious, it’s a covenant before God, and should not be entered lightly.

Ever since morality has worsened in the West, and with the passage of so-called “no-fault” laws that have made it very easy to get a divorce, the number of divorces has skyrocketed.